Archive for May, 2010

Respect Yourself

Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got. — Betty Ford

The woman

whose husband abandoned her

and their children

and their debts

for a young hottie

and moved out of state

with no forwarding address….

…has struggled

To find her own two feet.

To stand on her own

Oh to be rescued!

What a powerful compelling temptation

Only to discover

That rescuers need rescuing themselves.

Stop the madness.



Find your soul

Give yourself time to grieve

To heal

To discover your own heart.

You are stronger than you think.

Your old life is gone.

It will never come back.

Let it go, and good riddance.

Embrace your new life.

Discover who you are.

Mine the resource in your soul.

Receive the Gift of Grace on your life.

Find your gratitude.

Find your strength.

Stand up.

There are worse things

Than being alone

and you are not alone.

Love your children.

“But my children need a father.”

But their father is gone.


God is their Father

He will provide.

What they DON’T need

Is a revolving door of rescuers.

What they DO need




Learning to trust in God.

All in good time

They will learn to love themselves

And so will you

And you will love again

For the first time.


Mr. Right?

When I was in my early twenties, I was in a relationship with a young man about my age. We were in the same church and were both active in the arts ministry. He was a musician, I was a dancer. He expressed an interest in me, I thought he was a really great guy, but a bit nerdy…  he didn’t fit my perception of the guy I was “supposed” to end up with. However, he was fabulous best-friend material. So we decided to become friends, and to prove the world wrong that a guy and a girl couldn’t be best friends without getting romantically involved.

He really did become my best friend. We became inseparable. Did everything together both alone and with our thriving group of friends. We threw parties together, cooked and sang together, laughed and cried together. What a great time we had. We would talk for hours on the phone, in the park, on the ferry boat, wherever.

But we would never touch beyond the safe little side-to-side hug… no holding hands, definitely no kissing, no “I love yous”…. Strictly platonic.

His mother wasn’t buying it. She always spoke to me with absolute truth. At the time, I didn’t really know what that was, and I was never quite sure how to take what she said.

She would challenge me to consider whether what I had with her son wasn’t actually the real deal after all… and whatever I had made up about who I was looking for was a silly myth.

I asked her once how does one know when they have found THE ONE. You know, that one, single, human being on the planet, who you are destined to somehow meet, fall in love with, marry, and raise a family with… fulfilling God’s perfect plan for your life. Happily ever after…..and all that.

She laughed at me.
I was hurt.
She said I needed a dose of reality.
I asked what she meant.
She said that we choose who we will love, and then we love them. The “magic” we feel in the beginning of the relationship eventually fades, and then we start loving. Love is a choice. We could pick anyone, and create a life with them, if we chose to love them. It’s a commitment.

I balked at her words. I pictured myself picking up some homeless guy off the street, choosing to “love” him, and somehow creating a happy life together. Her words seemed so sterile, cold, and un-fun. All about sacrifice and duty.

Sigh….. there was wisdom in her words, that I didn’t have ears to hear at the time. Had I listened…. Life would have been very very very very different for me.

But I had miles to go, hearts to break, hard lessons to learn, before I could hear what she was really saying to me.

What do you hear?